If you have ever thought…
“I blew it today, so I might as well start over Monday.”
“I was doing so well until I went off plan.”
“I just need to be more disciplined.”
I want you to pause for a second and take a deep breath.
Because the real issue is usually not your discipline. It is all or nothing thinking. And this pattern quietly keeps so many smart, motivated women stuck for years.
Let’s talk about it.
What All or Nothing Thinking Actually Looks Like
Most women do not walk around saying, “I struggle with all or nothing thinking.”
It shows up more subtly.
It looks like:
- Being perfect Monday through Thursday and then feeling out of control by the weekend
- Skipping a workout and deciding the whole week is a wash
- Eating one off plan meal and thinking you ruined your progress
- Waiting for the perfect time to start instead of taking imperfect action
- Feeling like you are either fully on track or completely off the rails
If this hits close to home, you are in very good company. I see this pattern constantly, especially in high achieving women who are used to doing things well.
The problem is that your body does not respond to perfection. It responds to consistency.
Why This Pattern Is So Harmful
All or nothing thinking creates a cycle that feels incredibly frustrating.
Here is how it usually plays out:
You start strong and feel highly motivated.
You follow the plan very strictly.
Real life happens.
You feel like you messed up.
You pull back or spiral.
You promise yourself you will start fresh soon.
Repeat.
Over time, this pattern does more than stall fat loss. It also increases stress around food and exercise. Many women begin to feel like they are either succeeding or failing, with nothing in between.
But real progress lives in the middle.
The Biology Behind the Spiral
There is also a physiological piece that often gets overlooked.
When you swing between extremes, your body experiences inconsistent fueling, fluctuating energy intake, and often elevated stress.
This can lead to:
- Increased cravings
- Energy dips
- Poor recovery from workouts
- More food noise
- Greater likelihood of overeating after restriction
Your body thrives on steady input. When the pattern becomes restrict and rebound, fat loss often becomes harder, not easier.
What Consistent Women Do Differently
The women I see make the most sustainable progress are not the ones who execute perfectly every day.
They are the ones who recover quickly.
They:
- Get back on track at the next meal
- Adjust instead of abandon the plan
- Treat off days as normal, not catastrophic
- Focus on trends over time instead of single moments
- Stay in motion even when life feels messy
This is the mindset shift that changes everything.
Progress does not come from being perfect. It comes from staying engaged.
How To Break the All or Nothing Cycle
If you are ready to move forward in a healthier way, here is where I recommend starting.
Zoom out and look at patterns
One meal, one day, or even one week does not define your results. Your habits over time matter far more.
Build flexible structure
You need a plan that guides you but also leaves room for real life. Rigidity often backfires.
Practice the next best choice
Instead of waiting to restart, ask yourself, “What is the next supportive choice I can make?”
Support your nervous system
Chronic stress fuels extremes. Prioritize sleep, recovery, and daily movement.
Work with someone who sees the full picture
Most women do not need more restriction. They need better strategy and support.
The Bottom Line
All or nothing thinking feels productive in the moment. It feels like you are holding yourself to a high standard.
But over time, it is one of the biggest progress blockers I see.
You do not need to be perfect to see results. You need to be consistent enough for long enough.
Small, steady actions will always outperform extreme starts and stops.
Ready To Build Real Consistency?
If you are tired of the start and stop cycle and want a structured plan that actually fits your real life, I would love to support you.
Inside my 6 week program, we focus on:
- Sustainable macros
- Strategic intermittent fasting
- Strength focused training
- Hormone supportive nutrition
- Real accountability and coaching
If you are ready to step out of the all or nothing cycle and finally build momentum that lasts, you can join us here:
Join my 6-week program here: https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=lorenmattingly
You are closer than you think. 💙

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